As we come into a new year after the holidays, it’s possible that you are seeing your marriage in a new light. In fact, “saving my marriage” might be one of the biggest issues on your mind. Perhaps you realized through Thanksgiving and Christmas that you and your spouse have disconnected and are barely hanging on anymore. Yet you don’t want to let go; instead, you want to rebuild your marriage in 2018. Here are 7 vital tips that can help improve your marriage in this new year.
1. Learn How to Communicate
One of the most important parts of communication is not what you say, but rather how you say it. The sad truth is that many people don’t even consider how speaking harshly creates bitterness and resentment. Monitor your tone of voice. Don’t use the excuse that you just “don’t know how you sound.” That may have been true in the past, but you can focus on it now.
If you need to, you can record your conversations with your spouse and play them back later when you’re alone. That way you can hear exactly how you sound and know what needs to change. Just make sure you delete them to avoid causing your spouse any embarrassment.
2. Fight Better
Fights and disagreements will happen in any marriage. You don’t have to try to prevent them, but rather, you need to find a way to fight better. First, don’t fight in front of children. You may ask, “Is fighting bad for kids?” and the answer is “Yes.” Children need security, and they lose that safe feeling when they see you fight with your spouse. Second, don’t bring up past mistakes. Forgive and let it go. Speak only on the current issue or problem you’re both facing. Finally, don’t try to fight every battle. Pick your battles wisely.
3. Set Goals Together
A major problem in marriages today is when you each have separate goals for your lives. It is vital that you set goals together as a couple, and that you help encourage one another to reach those goals every single day. This will create a new intimacy between you and draw you closer together.
4. Keep Dating
No matter how busy your lives may be, it is so important to keep dating one another. Set aside a date night every week. Get away from the kids, away from the bills, away from jobs. Just focus on one another. Renew your intimacy together. Talk about whatever is on your hearts and minds. Remember to laugh a lot!
5. Learn Your Love Languages
Buy the book “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. He teaches that each of us have our own love language, and that you and your spouse need to know and understand one another’s love languages so you can love more effectively and more deeply. You may be having problems because your love languages are different. Loving your spouse their way is certain to improve your marriage.
6. Understand Personality Types
Find some books on different personality types, or do an online quiz like the Myers-Briggs test. Learn your personality and your spouse’s personality type. It will teach you a lot about one another and how each one reacts in a certain situation. Don’t try to change your spouse’s personality; just love and accept it.
7. Don’t Give Up
Your relationship with your spouse is one of the most important things to fight for, and you should give it your all. Try everything and be consistent. Work with your spouse and never give up!
A great way to get away and reconnect with your spouse is through The Hideaway Experience. To learn more about that click here.