Can You Change Your Wife?

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Does Saturday morning’s small disagreement turn into a midday all-out war? Have you had it with the constant arguing and combativeness? Somewhere between that magical day you said I do and now, the relationship changed. Careers, children, perhaps loss of a loved one, financial troubles… life happened and priorities have changed.

A few easy ways to change your wife:

STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF

When you learn how to not become so paralyzed by the little stuff, you can focus on bigger issues. You wouldn’t want someone constantly on your case about little stuff around the house, yet fail to bring up truly relationship-changing matters, would you?

Let it slide. Don’t sweat it. You’re fighting illness by battling symptoms. These small little struggles distract you from attacking the bigger beast between the two of you. Being a model of simple grace and forgiveness helps set the groundwork for resolving bigger problems.

When she sees you are working hard at repairing yourself instead of fixing her small nuances, she’ll be more likely to try the same.

BE A GENTLEMAN

Level with yourself: you haven’t been a perfect gentleman. Do you open the passenger side door for your wife? Say “please” and “thank you”? When was the last time you’ve delivered a genuine apology?

When you stop caring about your relationships, the first thing to go is simple manners and decency. So, be sweet. Mind your manners. Treat your wife as you would want someone to treat you.

DEMONSTRATE PATIENCE

Men like to fix things. It’s how they tackle problems with their mental and spiritual toolbox. Sometimes, men don’t have the right tools or they simply don’t know what tool they need to use.

Many times, they’ll end up using a screwdriver as a hammer just to get the job done. It’s not genius, but it’s a somewhat practical (although likely ineffective) solution to an immediate problem. In the end, it could make matters worse. In times of disagreement, stop trying to rush any solution.

Be patient. Take some of that time and pray with your wife. Listen to something other than the fix-it man in your head.

DID YOU NOTICE THE CONNECTION BETWEEN ALL OF THESE TRICKS?

You can’t change your wife.

All you can do is change you.

Next time, you and your wife are struggling to meet in the middle, think about how you can change the way you react to the situation instead of how you can change your wife. This simple, but often effective change in mindset can be pivotal in establishing the truths of your marriage.

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